I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
