plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
