Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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