As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
