Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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