I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize