sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
