i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize