He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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