From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
