He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
