we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
