Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize