put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
