Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
