I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
