people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
