Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
