I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
What a dumb baby whore.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
