I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
