If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
