omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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