i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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