that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
