we have officially lost it.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
All the doctor said was why
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
