guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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