so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize