Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize