also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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