Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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