Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
