we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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