I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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