I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
