Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
