it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
