i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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