Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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