after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
