So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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