I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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