Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
