I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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