I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
