So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's shark week go big or go home
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
