you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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