so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
