If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My dick has a subreddit
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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