what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
