The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
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