VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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