So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize