what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
