Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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