i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
