do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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