Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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