That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
