omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize