I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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