Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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