can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
