Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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