..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
wow bdsm is so cute
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
