Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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