He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
