it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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